I bet he comes in French.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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