Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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