Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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