I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
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