Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Randomize
