Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
