His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i just google imaged poop.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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