Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
