I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
