please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
