Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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