she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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