It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
