Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
How's work?
Spinning.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
