we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize