I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
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