It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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