I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
