And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
