I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize