How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
