I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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