I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
