I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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