Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
