Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
