i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
