yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
