She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
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