I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
