and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
