you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
