But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
