my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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