We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
