Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
