I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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