I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
