I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
