Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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