What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
