Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
