i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
