carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
