I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
