it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
