people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
