Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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