I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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