She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
