I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
