I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
