you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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