don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
