So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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