The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
