their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
