my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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