so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
