I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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