Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
