you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
