I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
