Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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