What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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