If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
should my penis look like a turkey
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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