He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
