i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I FOUND THE LEGS
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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