i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
