It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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