epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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