i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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