i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
