she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
