just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
