Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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