lets start a swedish sibling band together
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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